I've had a battery-operated boyfriend for the past 5 years and it does more good to me than my prick of an ex-husband if we're being honest. I'm still craving for a well hung lad though, nothing beats the elementary kind of fucking.

I am a little bit boyish that there are several instances when people who don’t personally know me take me as a lesbian. But don’t worry, I love boys and dicks. If you think I’m just the woman you’re looking for, don’t waste time contemplat...

At my age, you're going to realise that you'd rather enjoy all the vacant time you've been handed, rather than sit around on you tuchus all day. Recently I picked up on reading smutty novels and watching pornography to occupy my time.

Yes, I'm aged but not yet an ancient. You can assume that I'm already on the wrong side of 40, but there's no uncertainty that I can misbehave in bed like I'm still in my 20's. Is it tempting if I say that I could last for an hour or two?

At the age I'm in, I want to find a partner to spend my lonely nights with. Something serious or not, it's fine, I just want someone to keep me warm at night. To make me feel desirable again, rekindle the fire that I might long thought died.

As what you've already predicted, I have a lot of naughty thoughts that haunt me in my sleep. Wet dreams disturb me in the wee hours of the night and my fanny releases wet jelly waiting to be tasted by a soft mouth.